Right By My Side
by Surreal Reality
Summary: After a car accident, Jade ends up in the hospital. When her ex-boyfriend, Beck, comes to visit, they realize exactly how much they need each other.
1. Return

**A/N: Here it is, my first fanfic!**

**I don't know a lot about hospitals, so I apologize if anything is inaccurate. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Beck's P.O.V._

"Excuse me?" I say.

The short, curly-haired lady at the front desk looks up from her paper, and puts down the pen she was holding. "Yes?"

"I'm here to visit Jade West."

She blinks, as if surprised. Clearing her throat, she says, "Name?"

"Beck Oliver," I reply.

The lady nods again. She takes out a small white card with some words already printed on it, scribbles my name on it, and hands it to me. "Here's your visitor's pass. Her room is on the second floor, room thirty-six B."

I nod. "Thanks," I say, but I don't think she hears me. Slipping the card into my pocket, I walk past the desk, down the hallway leading to the elevator. I've been to this hospital before, when I was a kid, when I broke my arm. I could have remembered this place, but I don't. Nothing looks familiar, not the light brown wooden floor, the eggshell-white walls, nor the long, fluorescent light bulbs set into the ceiling, covered by thin, textured glass plates that look like ice.  
I walk up to the elevator and press the button with the arrow pointing upwards. It lights up blue, which is unusual, considering most light up orange. But, I have to admit, it is pretty cool.

There's a ding when the elevator arrives. I step inside after the silver doors slide open. The elevator has a calming aura compared to the hallway. Its pale gray interior is illuminated by the cool white light, and a song plays almost inaudibly in the background. Pressing the button with the 2 on it, I lean against the metal bar that goes around the elevator.

As the elevator starts its ascent, I don't know what to think. Not that I needed to come here, but I have to know Jade's okay. After seeing her totaled car, I can only think of worst-case scenarios: she could have life-threatening injuries, or a concussion that made her forget everything, or she could be...

That can't be true; I need to stop thinking like this. If she were dead, she wouldn't still be at the hospital. And if she has critical injuries, they surely wouldn't allow me to visit her. I have to think positively. It could just be a broken arm or leg. It can't be serious. It _can't_ be.

I really hope she's at least mildly happy to see me. It's been months since we broke up, but anyone with eyes could see that we still care about each other. Well, they could definitely see that _I_ care about her. I try to make her happy, and I'm always there for her, no matter what. Jade, on the other hand, is a mystery. She is incredibly good at hiding her feelings. She experiences all the same feelings any other girl does, but she has this tough, mean-girl exterior that she uses to hide them. It's like a barbed-wire fence. If you try to get past it, you only get hurt.  
I'm one of the only people she's ever let her guard down for. Not for anyone else, not even for Cat, her best friend. Only for me. She gave me her trust, and I treasured it, like some valuable item that she'd given to me and no one else. Along with her trust, she's also given me her heart.

But all that's changed since the breakup.

I don't have her heart anymore. She trusts me, and I trust her. We both love each other, but we're not _in _love with each other. It's the kind of love you feel for a close friend. However, there's this strange feeling inside of me. I'm not still in love with her, I know that, but I need her. I need her in my life. I can't live without her.

I wonder if she needs me too.

The elevator doors slide open again, and I get out the elevator. Lucky for me, I don't have to do much searching. Room 36B is right at the beginning of the hallway. I take a deep, slow breath as I open the door.

It's not as bad as I thought it would be, but it's not good, either.

Jade is laying back on the bed in a hospital gown. Her midnight black hair is splayed across the pillow, and the curls it usually has near the ends are almost nonexistent. There's a thin scratch on her cheek, and a few others on her left forearm. An IV tube sticks in the crease of her elbow, connected to a bag of clear liquid hanging from a metal thing that looks like a coat rack. Her other arm has a light brown wrap around it and rests in a navy blue sling. My heart cracks when I look at her, and I wince. She looks so fragile, so broken, like she needs someone... Yet no one is here, except me.

Jade's head snaps toward the door when I open it. For a moment, her thin, sculpted eyebrows pull together over her narrowed eyes, but when she realizes it's me, she relaxes - not much, but enough to notice. "Beck," she says in a whispery tone. It's so strange. I've never seen her like this before. Usually, her voice is so sharp, so filled with venom, But now, it's so gentle - almost sweet.

Sweet. Now I know for sure something's wrong with her, aside from her injuries. Jade isn't sweet. That isn't her personality, not in the least.

"Jade, are you okay?" I ask. It's a stupid, cliche question. She's clearly not okay, but all she does is shrug her shoulders a little bit in response.

I walk towards her, taking slow, tentative steps. Her eyes follow me as I sit down in a chair next to the hospital bed. I open my mouth to speak, but Jade does first.

"Why did you come here?" The tone in which she asks is demanding, much like how she usually talks.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

She looks away from me and up at the ceiling. "Oh."

There's a long silence after that. I wish she would talk. I need to know what's wrong. "So... Are you?"

"Do you want to know?" She pushes herself up with her good elbow, and then her eyes are locked with mine. "Do you _really_ want to know?" Her voice raises. I can tell she's getting angry. But why? Of course, she's always angry, but this - this is something else. And all I did was ask a question. This isn't anger, it's... distress.

"No, Beck. No, I'm not okay." She takes a deep, shuddering breath, closing her eyes.

In a soft voice, I ask, "Jade... What happened?"

There's another silence, but this one isn't as long.

Sighing, she places her good hand on her forehead. "I... It's just... Things have been really screwed up lately." I expect her to say more, but she doesn't.

"You're not answering my question."

She groans and flops back on the bed. "Don't you understand?"

I smirk and pull myself up to sit on the edge of the bed. "No, I really don't. What are you trying to say?"

Jade scoots over. I don't know if she's trying to make room for me, or get away from me. I can only hope it's the former.

"Just... Brace yourself for what I'm about to say, okay?"

I nod slowly, pulling myself up all the way on the bed, laying parallel to her and leaning my head on my hand. The bed is pretty big, which keeps us from being too close to each other. After I settle in, she pulls the IV needle out of her arm so she can roll over and face me. She also takes her wrapped arm out of the sling. When she winces, I want to say something, but - this is Jade we're talking about. She turns so she's in almost the same position as me.

"So...?"

"So." She sighs. "I was drunk, and..."

_"What?"_ I clench my jaw. "You were - _what?"_

Jade.

Drinking.

Jade was drinking.

I feel my face get hot. "Why would you do something like that?!" My voice is probably loud enough to be heard in the next room. "Are you insane?! You could have killed yoursel-"

"See? You see?" Jade cuts me off, her own voice raising. She's using the same tone she uses with Tori whenever she gets annoyed by her. She sits up, wrapping her arms around her torso. "I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would react like this!"

I also sit up. "Of course I would react like this! You could've fucking _died, _Jade! Do you have any idea what... How I..." I let out an exasperated sigh, covering my face with my hands. She _could_ have died, but she didn't. She's not dead, so I need to calm down. I've never yelled at her before, never lost my temper like this. I look over at her. To my dismay, there are tears welling in her eyes, and she's sniffling softly.

A wave of regret washes over me. "Jade, I'm sorry." I move closer to her, and I start to put my arms around her, but she flinches away from me, as if she's scared to touch me. I let my arms fall back on the bed. "Just... Tell me what happened."

Jade wipes her eyes with the back of her good hand. She sits with her legs crossed, cradling her wrapped wrist in her lap.

"Okay." Her voice is a little bit shaky. "It was yesterday night...

* * *

**A/N: I'm not like most authors. I'm not gonna try to charm you into writing a review with a joke or sarcasm or something like that. I can't do that. I'm not funny.**

**So instead, I'm asking you, computer screen-to-computer screen, to review. That is all. Thanks for reading.**


	2. The Accident

**A/N: I am sooooo happy with the feedback I got on the last chapter! I'm really, really sorry this took so long. I fail miserably at updating, and this took a while to figure out. Enjoy!**

* * *

_Jade's P.O.V._

_[Flashback]  
_

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I take one hand off the steering wheel, sliding it out of my pocket to see who it is. Cat's name illuminates the screen in bold, white letters, underneath a picture of her that I took a few weeks ago.

I press the answer button. "What is it, Cat?" I use my shoulder to hold the phone against my ear, placing my other hand back on the steering wheel.

"Hi Jade! Um, I was wondering, could you come over tonight? My parents had to take my brother to the doctor, so I'm all alone."

I bite the corner of my bottom lip. "Sorry, Cat, but I can't. I'm going somewhere." There's a red light up ahead. When I reach it, I sit back against the seat.

"Somewhere? Like where?"

"Um..." I could tell her that I'm going to a party, but then she'd want to come, too. And this type of party isn't for sweet little girls like her. "Just... Running some errands for my mom." I cringe at what I just said. I never run errands for my mom. I don't even talk to my mom. Not even Cat could be stupid enough to believe that.

"Oh, okay! Jade, you're so nice!" She exclaims cheerfully.

...I can't believe she actually believed that. But most of all, I can't believe she called _me_ nice.

The light turns green. I put my hands back on the steering wheel and hit the gas pedal.

"Yeah, okay, whatever. We can hang out next Friday, okay?"

"'Kay 'kay! Bye, Jade!" She hangs up quickly.

I toss my phone onto the passenger's seat. I feel bad that I had to lie to Cat... Oh well. She'll get over it.

About ten minutes later, I see the house I'm looking for. I pull up in the driveway. It looks so quiet from the outside - Could this be the wrong house? No, it has the right numbers. I'm going with my gut on this one. I take off my seat belt and put my keys in my pocket. When I open the door, a rush of cold air and darkness awaits me.

As I approach the house, dry leaves crunch underneath the soles of my boots. I can hear the sound of music gradually becoming louder with every step I take towards the door. So, there are people here.

I hold my hand on the doorknob for a few seconds. It's vibrating from the music blasting inside. I'm starting to regret my decision to come here...

"Hey, babe, are you gonna go in, or not?"

When I turn around, a guy is standing behind me. He looks at least my age, muscular build, and a few inches taller than me. I can just barely see that his hair is dark brown in the dim light. Not even I can deny the fact that he's incredibly hot.

...This could be the perfect way at getting back at Beck for breaking up with me.

Deciding to play along, I offer him a smirk, arching my eyebrow. "Yeah." I've never had much experience flirting, so I guess that will have to do. He grins at me, and I tap my black-painted fingernails on the doorknob before opening the door.

Looking inside, the house is just as dark on the inside as it is on the outside, but here there are colorful lights flashing everywhere. The place is completely filled with people; They're dancing in the living room, standing on tables and yelling, drinking bottles of beer and smoking in the corners. As soon as I step inside, someone falls back onto me, and I inadvertently catch them. The guy, who's groaning, has shaggy blonde hair hanging over his face, and his breath smells strongly of alcohol. I wrinkle my nose and let out an exasperated breath, pushing him back into the house roughly.

"Hey." I hear the voice of the guy from earlier. My hair swings over my shoulder when I turn around to face him. "I don't really feel like dancing. Do you want to hang out the kitchen instead?" At the end of his question, he jerks his thumb towards the kitchen, which is the only lit room in the house.

I nod slowly, knitting my eyebrows together. This is unexpected. I thought he'd be the kind of guy who'd want to dance and get drunk and maybe even... you know. But no, he's different than all the other guys here. And for some reason, I like it.

He takes me by the hand gently and we weave through the crowd, making our way to the kitchen. I can't believe he's acting so nice to me, treating me like a friend, and we don't know each other at all. Most of all, I don't understand why I'm _letting_ him.

Once we get to the kitchen, it takes my eyes a few moments to adjust. I look up at him again. This time, I can more clearly make out his features. He has a dimple in his left cheek, and his eyes are a deep blue, that is so dark yet so bright at the same time. He's wearing a gray t-shirt with a black leather jacket, and dark gray, torn jeans. His worn leather boots look vintage and are a shade of dull brown. He looks like my kind of guy.

"So, I don't believe I've caught your name." He leans against the counter and reaches for a bottle of water. Twisting off the cap, he takes a sip.

"Jade," I say, crossing my arms.

"Jade," he echoes. "That's a pretty name.

"Thanks," I reply flatly. "And you are...?"

"Tyler."

I give him a curt nod. "Okay. Cool."

There's a silence between us, but I let out a loud sigh. ending it before it gets too long. This time, it's me who grabs his wrist, and I start to pull him back into the living room. "C'mon. Let's dance."

* * *

We're back outside. It's much colder than before. Tyler said he wanted to leave early. When I asked him why, he just shook his head. Both of us are drunk; I convinced him to drink a few beers and I had at least few shots.

As we walk down the patio stairs, I look over at him. He has his hands in his jacket pockets and is looking down at his feet. I have to take small steps to make sure I don't fall... I'm starting to think I took too many shots.

On the last step, I stumble, but I feel Tyler's firm grip on my arm before I fall. We go down the last step together, and he wraps his arms around me from behind, planting a little kiss on my cheek. I smile a little bit at how caring he's being. He's treating me like... his girlfriend.

Like how Beck used to treat me.

Now, in an alcohol-induced haze, I realize why I'm letting him do these things to me.

It's because he reminds me of Beck.

Everything, from the subtle flirting when I first came to the party, how cool, laid-back, and easygoing he is, how close he stayed to me while we were dancing. The way we sat at the table and just talked after we got tired of dancing. Even his style. _Everything_ about him reminds me of Beck.

And I also realize that I want Beck, not him.

I feel my eyes start to burn... I'm about to cry.

This is the first time that I've cried in a long time. The last time I cried was so long ago, on that night when we broke up. That night, I went home and locked myself in my room. I'd cried for hours, until I finally fell asleep. And the morning after, I felt so broken, like part of me was missing.

Ever since then, I had held in my tears. I'd been struggling every day to compose myself in the morning, hold myself together through school and the rest of the day. Then, when I finally got home, I'd feel so numb. I wouldn't talk to my parents - not that I wanted to talk them anyway. The only thing I wanted to do was keep myself from breaking down. But now, it's happening again.

I pull away from him, covering my face with my hands. I let out a broken sob. Warm, salty tears stream down my face.

"Are you okay?" Tyler returns again, wrapping his arms around me once more. But I really don't want him anymore.

"Stop," I say in a sharp tone. I use the back of my hand to wipe my tears away. I put my hands on his chest and push him back gently but firmly, keeping him a good distance away from me.

"Jade. Please." He pulls me back into him. It's clear that he's much more drunk than I thought. Before I can pull away again, I feel his hand running down my spine. His fingers leave a warm tingling sensation, which clashes with the brittle cold surrounding us, and stopping at the small of my back. I shudder and relax a little bit - a reflex I've learned from when Beck used to do that to me. My eyes close halfway. "Oh... God. Tyler. Stop it." Looking up at him, his eyebrows are drawn together intently, and there's passion burning in his blue eyes.

"Why, don't you like it?" he asks me. Before I can answer, his hand starts sliding down once again. It passes over my rear and the back of my thigh. When he reaches the area behind my knee, he pulls my leg up onto his side. My breath catches. I shouldn't be enjoying this, but I am. It must be the drunkenness, but at this point, I couldn't care less. One second, I'm just standing there, looking looking into two pools of deep blue, and the next, we're in a full make-out session.

Every movement, each time our lips press together, the soft noises that escape our mouths when they part. My hands tangled in his hair, his strong arms wrapped around me. It's wrong, so wrong. Beck should be the one doing this to me.

It's so wrong, but it feels so right.

If I try hard enough to focus on just the physical stuff, the fact he's not Beck just fades away, and I can pretend that it _is_ him. But it still doesn't change the fact that he's not.

I want to pull away, but at the same time, I don't. It's as if the drunk part of me and the sober part of me are having a battle. So far, the drunk part is winning.

I'm surprised when my back is pressed against something cold and solid. It's the wall of the house.

That's enough; I want to lead now. I start to grab his arms so I can reverse our positions, but before I'm able to, Tyler moves his lips down to my jawbone and starts kissing my neck passionately.

My eyes cross and then flutter closed. An indescribable feeling of tingly warmth spreads through me. My lips part and a small moan escapes them. I place my hands on his shoulders, digging my nails into the soft leather of his jacket.

When the sensation starts causing me to become weak, I feel the strong buzz of my phone vibrating in my pocket. That alone is enough to pull me into realization of what's happening. I shove him away, pulling my phone out of my pocket. It's a text message from Cat.

_Where r u?_

At that moment, I'm dragged even further into the realness of this situation.

Tyler is drunk. Very, very drunk. If I hadn't pushed him away just now... Our make-out session would have escalated, and he probably would have raped me... Or worse. And I wouldn't have pushed him away if I hadn't have checked my phone just now.

It's possible that Cat just saved my life.

_Oh my God..._ I say inside my head. I was wrong. He's nothing like Beck. Beck wouldn't have done something like this, even if he were drunk. He wouldn't try to take advantage of me in this way - or take advantage of me, ever.

Fear starts to spread through me, and the air around me feels colder than before. I want to run away, but I know he'll probably do something to me if I do... something terrible. But I _have_ to get away form him.

Suddenly, a plan forms in my mind. He's probably dunk enough to not be able to get up quickly if he were to fall. I glance up to see where Tyler is; he's standing directly in front of me, a little bit off to the right. I put my phone back into my pocket. After taking a deep breath, I muster up all my strength and throw a punch blindly in the dark in his direction. My fist makes contact with something, I have no idea what, but when I hear a heavy thud on the ground, I know I've hit my target. And that's when I start a mad dash to my car.

* * *

I speed away from the house quickly, not bothering to put on my seat belt. All I want is to get away from all the alcohol, drugs, the party - and Tyler. Just as far away from that house as possible.

* * *

I'm speeding down the highway. Streetlights are just streaks in the side of my vision. I know I am going way above the speed limit. But I need to get home. I need to get back home - back to Beck.

I need him. He's like an anchor. He keeps me stable.

He keeps me from doing things like this.

I'm not even focusing on driving anymore. I'm only thinking about Beck, about him holding me in his arms, stroking my hair, his soft, tender kisses on my forehead, our palms pressed together, his fingers interlocked with mine.

The image of him becomes so vivid in my mind, so real, that I don't even realize when my car starts to veer off the side of the road. I try to regain control, but it's too late. The car skids down the hill, tilting sideways. The tilt causes me to slide towards the door. My head bangs into the painfully cold window. It continues sliding down, and at this point, I'm truly terrified.

I could die at any second.

With every bump, I bounce around the inside of the car. Now, I regret not putting on my seat belt. After a little while longer of sliding, the car slams into a tree. My entire body lurches to the side violently. I let out a cry of pain as my right arm is crushed between my body and the door.

The car isn't moving anymore.

I look down at my arm. At first, I don't see it; It's covered by my jacket. But when I gently, slowly slide my jacket sleeve up, I see the huge gash, I see the blood pouring out of it - I can see the white, pale surface of my bone underneath my flesh. I cover my mouth with my other hand, letting out a silent scream. Warm, salty tears stream down my cheeks. It hurts, so much. I've had bad injuries before, but none of them compare to this. This is a whole new degree of pain. Usually, I just tough it out, fight through it, but this is unbearable.

I slide my sleeve back back down. Even looking at it is painful.

Something warm trickles down my forehead. I reach up to touch it, and when I remove my hand, my fingers are sticky with blood, which contrasts greatly with my pale skin.

My entire body is shaking. I have never been so scared in my life.

With my good arm, I reach over and try to open the door. It won't budge. I grab the handle and shake it violently. I even push against it with all my body weight. It still won't move.

That's when I start to _really_ panic.

I haven't told anyone - anyone but Beck, that is - but I have claustrophobia. Really, really bad claustrophobia. That's one of the main reasons I started freaking out when I got locked in Beck's RV with the rest of the gang, while Cat was out doing whatever typical Cat's do when left unattended. I couldn't stand being stuck in a closed area with five other people. And the heat just made it worse.

This, however, is different. It's cold, really cold, and the area is much smaller. And I'm alone and seriously injured, which more than triples my fear factor.

My heart is pounding, my body's trembling even more than before. I'm breathing hard, really hard. My vision is getting fuzzy and it feels like I'm about to pass out.

Just as I see the ambulance's red, white, and blue lights reflecting in my rear view mirror, everything goes black.

* * *

**A/N: Te gusta? No te gusta? Review, and tell me!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Forever

_Beck's P.O.V._

"...When I woke up... I was in the ambulance. There were bright lights and paramedics were standing over me..." Her eyes focus on nothing, as if she's looking straight through me. "I couldn't really tell what was going on... Everything was floating in and out of darkness... I felt so... numb."

My jaw is clenched by the end of her story. All the blood has drained from my face.

"I was so scared that night, Beck. I thought I was going to die. I can't... I shouldn't have... I'm sorry." She glances at me and quickly looks down at her hands, which are locked together. Her nails are digging into the backs of her hands. After a few seconds, she releases them, and I see little red marks forming where her nails were. Tears are streaming from her eyes.

I reach over and stroke her arm. "Hey... It's okay. You're okay."

She looks back up at me. I can almost feel the pain in her eyes. "No, I'm not." With her other hand, she gently removes my hand from her arm. "You have no idea..." Her voice is trembling, and her sentence is cut off by a sob. She tilts her head back to prevent more tears from falling, but they do anyway.

"Just... look," she whispers. She pulls up one of the elbow-length sleeves of the hospital gown.

And that's when I see it.

There are cuts on the inside of her arm, from the crease of her elbow all the way up to a few centimeters below her armpit.

They're everywhere, scattered over the entire area of her arm. Some long, some short, some deeper than others. Almost all of them have healed. But there are a few fresh ones, and they look... horrifying. It looks as if the new cuts were made with something extremely sharp, and she must have made them very deep, since there is a lot of freshly dried blood on her arm. And the cuts are still bleeding.

Shocked and terrified, I cant speak. My mouth opens and closes, not able to form words.

At that point, Jade completely breaks down. She buries her face in her hands, crying. I just sit and watch her, unable to move. She's so fragile.

"I'm sorry," I hear her sob into her hands. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Beck." She pulls her pillow onto her lap and wipes her eyes with it. On the bed where the pillow was, I see a scalpel. A surgical knife; the kinds used to cut through flesh.

And the blade is stained with blood.

I feel sick. She could have killed herself with that.

She probably was trying to...

"But... Jade... Why..." I blink repeatedly. "Why did you do this to yourself?"

"I-I don't know," she stutters. "I thought... I thought it would help..." She bites her lip and starts weeping again.

I can hardly bear seeing her like this. "Jade, Jade..." I caress her face in my hands, gazing deep into her eyes. Her perfect, pale green eyes that I've looked in a million times before, and could stare into until the end of time. "You thought it would help with what?"

"Can't you see?" Light glimmers in the tears streaming down her face. "No one cares."

Something sharp and painful stabs at my heart. "But... I care. I... I love you."

"Everyone says that. Everyone says they care when they see how much pain someone's going through. I'm sure as soon as I'm better," - her breath catches - "_i__f_ I get better, you'll leave me. Just like everyone else has."

"I... I'd never leave you."

A dark expression appears on her face. "You did before. I'm sure you'd do it again, given the chance."

Her words buzz in my ears like bees. I try to block them out, but I can't. It's the truth.

She closes her eyes tightly. "I could end it all. I wouldn't have to go through this." Her eyes suddenly look glazed, and she stares blankly ahead of her. "If only I'd had the courage to cut just a little bit deeper..."

No. _No._

I lean across the bed and pull her into a tight embrace. She melts into my arms and I bury my face into the crease of her neck, breathing in the faint, familiar smell of her perfume. I don't know what else to do.

I sit there with her in my arms, while she clings to me like a small child would do to their mother. Her sobs make her body shake, and her warm tears are soaking through my shirt and my shoulder beneath it, but I don't mind. I just want her to be okay.

I _need_ her to be okay.

* * *

Seconds tick by, minutes add up, and before I know it, almost two hours have passed since I had first started holding Jade in my arms.

The room is completely silent. I look around. It's now nighttime, and there's only one light just barely illuminating the room from the center of the ceiling. I look down at Jade. Her arms are still around me, but she's sleeping, so her grip isn't as tight as before.

Ever so gently, I lay her unconscious body back onto the bed. For a moment, I just sit there and look at her. Although she's so battered and bruised and fragile and so - broken - she still looks as beautiful as ever. _The most beautiful girl in the world, _I think as I run my fingers through her long, dark hair. Then, I reach over to hold her hand, stroking the tops of her fingers with my thumb.

She's going to need all the help she can get, but right now, all I can do is be here for her.

Jade is going to be okay. She may be at the bottom right now, but there's nowhere to go but up. And she's strong; she'll pull through. I've seen it, everyone else has seen it.

I think about the everything she told me earlier.

All in all, I'm just happy she's alive.

I look down at the bed again. I see the blunt end of the surgical knife sticking out from underneath Jade's pillow. The metal handle is freezing cold to the touch. Slowly, carefully I slide it from under the pillow.

My finger slides down the cool, smooth, surface, then up again. When it reaches the blade, I freeze for a split second.

It's Jade's blood.

I was half-hoping that somehow, when I looked at the knife again, the blood would have disappeared. But it didn't. It's still there, because in real life, miracles don't happen. It's Jade's blood, and it's forever stained on her would-be suicide weapon.

Looking at it makes my heart hurt.

I get up, and walk over to the curtains behind the bed. I push the curtains aside, and through the large hospital room window I can see the city lights shining brightly below. To the side of the city I see the beach, and the dark outline of waves lapping at the shore.

Then, I open the window and toss the bloody knife out. It disappears into the darkness. I don't know where it falls, and I don't care. I just want that awful thing to be away from her. I shut the window, replace the curtain, and turn back to Jade.

Looking at my watch, I see that it's almost 11 p.m. I should be getting home.

I slowly walk to Jade's bed, examining her face. I plant one delicate kiss on her forehead, and move a few strands of hair out of her face. She's sleeping, she can't hear me, but this is something that needs to be said.

"Jade, I love you more than anything in the world. I should have never walked out on you that night, and that's a decision I'll regret for the rest of my life. But I swear, I'll never do anything like that to you again. I love you so much..." I choke on my word when a lump forms in my throat. I feel a tear trickle down my face. "...We'll get through this. You'll be better, one day. Maybe it's soon, maybe it's a long time from now. But you'll be okay. And I'll always be here, right by your side, forever."

I plant one more, feather-like kiss on her cheek, and within the next moment, I'm gone.

* * *

**A/N: Done! It's finally done. ****After four months of drafting and editing and rewriting, it's done.**

**And if I made you cry... that was my intention.**

**Thank you for reading!**


End file.
